


Hunting and Hermit Crabs

by The_Mouse_of_Anon



Series: AquaFan Week (Devilfish Ahoy!) [7]
Category: Teen Titans (Comics), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: AAALLLL the fish puns, AquaFan Week 2016, Camping, Day 7: Wildlife, Eddie you've gotten La'gaan to be a complete goof, Fish Puns, M/M, and some demon puns, full-blown Devilfish, these sappy nerds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-17 00:35:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9296438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Mouse_of_Anon/pseuds/The_Mouse_of_Anon
Summary: La'gaan and Eddie just needed to get away for a while, away from missions and away from everyone else. The last mission was rough, and they both needed a break. A camping trip was the perfect idea; time outside of base, not having to worry about being stumbled across by random people, just a good solid week of enjoying each others' company. And then the weird conversations kicked in.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is the last one of the series in all of its wonderful Devilfish glory (so it takes place after _Trusting Again Can Be The Hardest Thing_ ). I owe inspiration for the use of puns in this one to the Ask La'gaan blog on tumblr (asklagaan.tumblr.com), and I highly recommend looking through it if you'd like a laugh or just to enjoy some La'gaan-centric nerdiness.
> 
> (And yes, there are more Devilfish fics in the works- because I'm complete Devilfish trash like that.)

“Okay, while I will admit that you have a point, _no_ La’gaan. We are _not_ going to go to a pet store and buy all of their hermit crabs just so you can eat them,” Eddie laughed.

La’gaan huffed in pretended offense. “It’s a great plan Devilfish.”

“No it’s _not_ ,” Eddie said while he poked at their campfire with a stick, trying desperately not to laugh. The two of them were sitting on logs they’d put near the fire, but not so close that they had to worry about the logs catching fire from a spark (or La’gaan getting burned for that matter). “I know you’ve made your point about how you can’t really domesticate crabs and how if they were out in the wild you’d be able to go after them with no one saying anything, but seriously… They’re pretty much domesticated crabs. They’re intended to be people’s _pets_. You don’t eat pets.”

“They’re right there! Easy pickings! After you buy them, how is it anyone’s business if you eat them or not?”

A snort of laughter escaped Eddie despite his every effort to hold it back. “I’m pretty sure they’d call that ‘animal abuse’.”

La’gaan shook his head. “It’s still just a _crab_! Surfacers eat them in restaurants all the time! Why is it a crime to want to get one cheaper through a pet store than have to pay way too much to get one in a restaurant or have to deal with one of those old things from a grocery store? I just want fresh crab!”

Eddie lost it and immediately started cackling. “Oh my _god_ … La’gaan, Beautiful, _NO_. You would get us kicked out of everywhere!”

“You have no appreciation for brilliance,” La’gaan grinned.

The two of them had needed this; just a chance to temporarily absent themselves from missions for about a week and get away from everyone else. Eddie had been the one to suggest a camping trip (a first for La’gaan), but he’d convinced La’gaan to go along with it when he specified that they would be near the coast so they could go swimming whenever they pleased. Part of it was to help the both of them get over the previous mission (purists, an evil magic-user, and the threat of blood magic in excess had pretty well rattled everyone); and the other part of it was the fact that La’gaan didn’t feel like going back to Atlantis for a while, Eddie had nowhere to really go, and both of them just needed _out_. Since neither of them could blend in with the general populace, that ruled out just going to the next town over and staying in a hotel for a while. And considering some of the near-misses with magic involved in that mission, neither of them had really felt comfortable taking up Zatanna’s offer for her to construct glamour charms to disguise them. 

No, getting out of town and just going camping had felt like what they both needed most. It was remote, reasonably isolated (so they wouldn’t have to worry about anyone stumbling across them before running away screaming about ‘demons in the forest’), but close enough to base that if anything happened they could easily call in help. Plus, there was the fact that it was the first time the two of them had gotten to be alone for so long after they had gotten together. Strangely enough, though there had been plenty of instances where they had been stuck around each other for extensive periods of time _before_ they started going out (a lot of those before La’gaan had actually resigned himself to and accepted Eddie’s friendship), after they got together it had proven almost impossible to even get a day alone without some crisis-of-the-minute cropping up.

There was also the fact that by being so isolated they didn’t have to censor themselves so much or bother with making sure they put forward the right ‘public façade’ that came with being a hero. Out here they could just be La’gaan and Eddie, former friends who at one time hadn’t quite gotten along (more on La’gaan’s part than Eddie’s) and current boyfriends who were both far too entertained by trying to make each other laugh.

“That’s not brilliance, that’s trying to cause trouble while being lazy.”

“I don’t see how it’s lazy. I’d still have to kill it and then pry it out of its shell,” La’gaan said. He was trying for a teasing ‘condescending’ tone, but it wasn’t working out too well. He was too pleased with the fact that he’d made it difficult for Eddie not to laugh.

“It’s lazy because it’s in a tank,” Eddie protested. “You were the one going on about how part of the ‘fun’ of having crab is chasing one down. With the crabs in a pet store there’s no chasing involved!” Heaven help him, he was having a hard time not erupting in another giggle-fit.

La’gaan crossed his arms and gave Eddie a dubious look. “In case you haven’t noticed Devilfish, I can’t exactly go casually wandering in to buy a bunch of hermit crabs to eat without causing a scene. So in my case I think it counts.”

“Somehow I still don’t think it counts.” Eddie’s eyes were brightly glowing with mirth.

“It does. There are all sorts of similarities.” Now La’gaan was just reaching; one of the quickest ways La’gaan had found to get Eddie to laugh himself senseless was to throw something completely ridiculous his way, all while saying it with a straight face. That last bit was the hardest part.

Eddie’s eyebrows raised. “You’re going to have to convince me.”

Thankfully for La’gaan, he’d thought some of this through. “Okay, so hear me out. The traffic is like the currents, only in those areas with really jagged rocks they can smash against. The people are like the wildlife: you get some who would ignore me, you get others who would get weirdly territorial and would only threaten to attack me if I got near them, and you’ve got the ones who would attack me with no provocation— pretty much your typical predator looking for a meal.”

Eddie had to take a moment or two to breathe so he wouldn’t lose it again. “You just compared a bunch of jerks to cannibals…”

“No, predators. Like sharks. Though I guess if they were crazy enough to try to eat me that _would_ make them cannibals,” he said, his tone turning oddly thoughtful toward the end.

“Oh my _god_!” The fire-wielder was almost _snorting_.

“Anyway, the cashiers— at least the ones who would stick around— would have the potential to attack me or bolt away, or they could stay where they were and work with me so I could get what I want and get out; so they’d be kind of like… Damn, what’s the word… sea lions!”

“Cashiers… would be _sea lions_?!” No question about it, Eddie was fast on the track to laughing so hard that eventually he wouldn’t even be able to make a sound.

“Exactly.” La’gaan looked thoroughly smug. “The hermit crabs in their tanks and having to pay for them would be about as much of a pain as having to pry a crab out of rocks or coral— not exactly the same, but similar enough thanks to how frustrating both would be— so there’s that. Then there’s PETA-”

“ _PETA?!_ ” Eddie somehow managed to say through his cackling.

“Well yeah. You don’t think that if PETA somehow got wind that someone like me was in a pet store that they wouldn’t show up? They’d probably either try to ‘rescue’ me,” he said with air-quotes, “or they’d be trying to ‘save’ the hermit crabs from me— and whichever they ‘rescued’ they’d try to kill later. So that’s like those damned octopuses who keep trying to steal food or attacking the other hunter to eat them instead-”

“Okay, that’s just sick,” Eddie laughed.

“-and that would probably bring in news attention. So next thing you know there’d be a bunch of news vans and reporters around trying to get a look, but probably too scared to come close— maybe one or two would try to talk to me— so that’s like dolphins or porpoises or whatever, just hanging around _staring_ … Lemme think…”

Eddie shook his head. “You’re going to kill me at this rate.”

La’gaan grinned. “My point is, for me at least, going and getting hermit crabs from a pet store to eat would be about as hazardous as if I went out into the ocean to get a crab.”

The fire-wielder was trying his best not to laugh, he really was— it just wasn’t all that effective. “Beautiful… I love you.”

“Good to know,” La’gaan teased.

“And _I’m_ the one who gets called a goof. Anyway, it’d be easier if you just skipped hermit crabs and went for one of the random land-crabs out here.”

La’gaan’s eyes widened slightly, his ears perking up. “There are _land_ crabs?!”

Eddie grinned. “Would I lie to you?”

La’gaan’s eyes darted from Eddie to the fire and back again. “Okay, I know this is sudden Devilfish, but I _need_ this. I _need_ to try land crab. So as soon as we can get the fire contained or put out, we need to go looking for land crab.”

“As you wi- _OW!_ ” Eddie snapped his tail into his line of vision a moment after his yelp. Not much could easily hurt him, so the fact that there was a sudden flash of pain was alarming. And then he saw the source. “Oh you have _got_ to be kidding me.” Dangling from his tail was a crab about the size of Eddie’s fists put together.

Now La’gaan looked about ready to laugh. “Looks like we don’t have to go hunting far.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Okay, smartass fish. Help me get your PETA-crab off me.”

While La’gaan helped pry the crab’s firmly-clamped claw from Eddie’s tail, he couldn’t help but casually toss out, “You know Devilfish… I never took you for a _fintastic_ angler…”

“Ohhhh no. You start bringing in the fish puns then I’ll throw every last demon pun at you that I can think of. We do _not_ need to get in a pun-war.”

“So does this mean you won’t go angling for crabs again?” he teased.

“…Okay two things. One: pretty sure English with its weird definitions doesn’t involve crabs being angled. Crabbed, but not angled. Two: I am not sacrificing my tail so you can find more crabs. I love you, but no.” Trying to be stern, it turned out, wasn’t very effective when set against laughter.

La’gaan waved off the language explanation and asked, “Not even if I shared?”

Eddie snorted. “Right. Like you’re going to deny me any just because it’s crab. I might be convinced to help you track down one or two more after you get that one off me and it’s eaten. Because there is no way in hell that I’m stuffing a crab in our tent to keep it from wandering off while we track down more.”

“You’ve of _fish_ ally stolen my heart.”

“Oh my god, you nerd. You do realize that if anyone else knew about you and your puns they’d never take you seriously again, right?”

“What can I say Devilfish? You’re special.” For just a moment La’gaan couldn’t help the thoroughly smitten look he directed at Eddie.

Eddie blushed, though considering his bright red skin it was a little hard to tell, but La’gaan knew. “Mm… When it comes to sharing your puns— better the devil that you know?”

“And you think _I’m_ bad?” La’gaan laughed.

Eddie leaned toward the atlantean with a wicked smirk. “You’ll excuse me if you get bedeviled by demonic puns. Sort of _possessing_ the moment. Because by betting against me by starting this pun war, you pretty much made a deal— and deals with the devil can be a bit hellish. Or we can call it off, avoid selling our souls to puns, and we can stick to occasionally hunting your crabs from PETA.”

There was a moment or two of silence, and then La’gaan _cracked_. He hadn’t actually laughed so hard in _years_ , if ever. That he had a sizable crab in his hands angrily waving its claws around didn’t matter— although holding it without setting it down while laughing to the point of almost crying was a feat. If anything it just added to his amusement. By the time he wound down enough to speak, Eddie looked thoroughly pleased with himself. True, Eddie didn’t have as much practice with thinking out puns as La’gaan, but the fact that he’d done it at all was worth it.

“Devilfish, did I ever tell you I love you?”

“Plenty of times, Beautiful; but _hot damn_ , I don’t mind hearing it,” he said before leaning forward to kiss La’gaan.

“…You’re a nerd.”

“So are you.”

It was official— the camping trip for the two of them was the best idea ever.

**Author's Note:**

> As promised, here's the story-line specific chronological order of this series for anyone who would like to know:  
>  1) Just a Friendly Recommendation  
>  2) Family Holidays Aren’t All They’re Cracked Up To Be  
>  3) Underwater in the Dark  
>  4) Language Lessons  
>  5) Tattoos: A Conversation (or why according to La’gaan, Eddie needs to just stop talking)  
>  6) Trusting Again Can Be The Hardest Thing  
>  7) Hunting and Hermit Crabs


End file.
